I wanna tell you all about my Yoga ordeal recently, You know those sign up for £30 and you can do as many classes as you like deals? I’ve tried Ashtanga. Bikram. …Hatha. ..Iyengar. I’ve never really liked any of them apart from Bikram because I love saunas but seeing that I’m really energetic I’ve been told that I need to find my inner chi and relax as it will make me a better person? So over the weekend, I tried out Anusara, I interpret this as yoga with a sense of humor! Instead of getting everyone to freeze into the standard positions downward dog and warrior one and two ( which I hate ) this is more express yourself and go with the
I am that annoying person who once starts laughing I just can’t stop! and as soon as I sat down in this room with about 8 yummy mummies ( everyone seemed to know each other ) I also noticed how in shape everyone was, all in leggings and vests. There was a beginning chant that I had no idea about with some breathing exercises and all I could do is laugh when I heard a few grunts. This was the moment I realised there’s gonna be a problem because it’s like going for a wee, once you’ve broken the seal you’re screwed.
So basically I was stuck in a room with no sneaky way out because I chose to sit second row from the front ( basically because I’m short-sighted and can’t see for crap If I’m too far away ) The chanting carried on for a bit too long which all I could do was giggle and try and not catch the instructors eye. Now at this point I’m going to tell you about what I had for lunch … My new favourite snack since my mate Vicki introduced me to it, fried and spiced brussel sprouts. Do I need to tell you what this equals? Because It’s pretty obvious … My arse was ready to blow!! and It did .. Those of you that have done any yoga will know you’re pretty close to each other so what I was doing was unacceptable and just disgusting because I single handily turned that room of peace and tranquility into a rotten cabbage hell hole. Everyone was suffering and they all knew it was me because I was the only one giggling. Now to make matters worse it was the most ridiculous class I’ve ever been to. I just ended up stretching into the most random positions trying not to make any air release from my body …
45 minutes later the class ended Namaste Namaste and honestly, I have never seen everyone move so fast out of a yoga class and literally run out like that, It’s meant to totally relax you and clean you all zen and chi, however we were all wound up and uncomfortable. I think It’s safe to say I didn’t make any new friends and I won’t be going back … ever