You know those ones where you just say yes, half the time I don’t even know what I’ve said yes to it’s just my go to phrase and I’m probably not even listening properly, especially If I’ve said the words “go on” just before muttering yes.
As I do this post I am laughing because I’ve literally just used number 4 to a mate who I had agreed to help pack ( who needs help packing ?! Why do you need an extra pair of hands just to chuck half of your summer wardrobe into a suitcase PLUS to make It worst I’ll have even more holiday envy as I won’t be the one going away ) Anyway, she called me out on it and I have to go now out of sheer peer pressure. With all that In mind, here are some of the best excuses I’ve used In the past and have worked!
– I can’t meet now because Uber surge pricing is 4.6 right now!!??
Yes this is a massive surge lie but it’s very believable and no one’s gonna tell you to order It anyway just because you’re late. Just say you’re gonna wait till it dies down and later after loads of missed calls and texts ( remember the surge only happens in and around your location so they can’t check ) you can say oh it’s still ridiculously high so just enjoy the night without me … and then hit that play button on Netflix and Chill.
– My Period Pains are mental right now!?!
If you’re meant to meet up with a guy just mention the word PERIOD and you really don’t have to say anything else as they will back the hell away in an instant.
– My dogs doing bum splatters all across the loving room floor I can’t go anywhere!?!?
Just the thought of this Is making me heave … Yes, this happened for real one day when my little boy picked up some bug from the park and had severe diarrhoea for 24 hours … Do I even need to carry this one on …. no .. thought not.
– Are we meant to meet up? Seriously? My phones playing up didn’t you get my text?!?
Come on we’ve all used this one at one stage In our lives, right? I have my phone with me whilst I’m in the bath and I’m sure it’s getting damaged for real with all the condensation in it but hey ho .. blame the phone playing up … in fact I’m not even getting any messages so I can’t even see you having a go at me for leaving you at the bar for an hour while I sit at home painting my nails.
– I’m not drinking, Seriously I have an allergy!?!
What’s the one thing people hate when out drinking after work? Someone saying they’re having dry January … or dry August or an even dryer September … You know what? If you ain’t joining In, then how about you stay at home and save that £1.20 on a sparkling water and lime and just use your tap water In the kitchen instead.