Right, I have seriously lost it … I’m getting older, not just in years but In the way my brain/ body and FACE looks after a night out.

So lets go back, last night I DJ’d in Dartford and had the best night ever!  This club is huge and even tho I’m well excited I’m also super nervous! Is that normal? This Is frigging huge and I’ve wanted to do this for years and I’m now sitting here nervous as hell! Shall I start from the beginning where I was outside In the car at midnight watching the already massive queue get bigger and bigger by the minute while I got more and more nervous which then turns into me instantly needing a huge splatter as I’m literally crapping myself because I don’t think I’ll be good enough ( My mind was saying what If they hate the music I play? What if there’s a power cut? What if my laptop doesn’t work? What if my mind goes blank and I just stand there with beats clanging all over the place and people boooo me while they walk off the dance floor ? ) Do I suffer panic attacks? I didn’t think I did but as I’m writing this it sounds like I do.

The club was packed it was propa banging and I loved it, Yes I mucked up by leaning over the CDJ’s and my elbow touching it making it sound as if I’m trying to do a spin back for just a second and I totally screwed up trying to get the mic working and nearly got thrown backwards by the feedback when I turned it on and had it pointing straight at the speakers … Yep that happened. I keep telling myself the more mistakes I make the better I get right? That’s the right way to think yeah? Anyway enough about me making a right tit of myself because I actually loved every minute of it and I will one day be frigging brilliant … one day … I just have to learn how to not be a ditsy idiot!

So back to what I was originally talking about I cannot take a massive night out getting back in at 4.30am and waking up at 9am because I literally cannot sleep in anymore I mean gone are the days where I used to get 9 hours a night! So after 5 hours sleep meeting up with my mate for brunch going on a massive walk with my dogs and then have to do a show I honestly felt like a member of the living dead today like my brain was fried, you could have asked me for a bit of quick maths whats 2+2 ? and I honestly believe I would have had to think about it for a long time.

Now because it’s just two days to go till Christmas and I knew no one would be in the office so I didn’t make any effort in my appearance as I can’t deal with no sleep, my brain is fried, I literally look like I need help which I do. My hair still had glitter in it from this girl who glitter bombed me the night before, I’m in my tracksuit that I’ve been wearing at home walking the dogs in the muddy park for the past few weeks. I also have dark circles under my eyes that could sink a ship oh and guess what …I forgot to brush my teeth! I am officially disgusting and it’s nearly Christmas. I can no longer go out all night waking up fresh thinking everything will be fine … Why am I not 17 again?!