I was having this conversation with a girl I met last night at my mates post Christmas party, It was all about the pressures of being a woman, to grow up have kids get married and buy your own home blah blah blah
I don’t know why we’re all in this circle of ‘have tos’ and ‘must haves’ She was shocked when I said I don’t plan to have kids, I’m not looking to buy my own house and marriage doesn’t appeal to me anymore, It was like I just said I was half woman half alien from planet Upyouritis and I’m here to over take planet earth repopulate it with the eggs I’m carrying in my belly ready to explode them all over the nearest field covered in manure and become queen of the universe.
I think there’s a big pressure around women to have all of these things signed sealed and delivered by the time we’re 30 and If we don’t have all three of these things in our lives we have failed big time. Look, If you want to get married and have kids that’s great but not wanting to doesn’t make your choices wrong or bad It just means you want different things and that’s fine as life would be very boring If we were all the same, have you seen Stepford Wives?
I didn’t have the most conventional upbringing, with living in care homes, having numerous foster parents and being split up from my sisters etc … So now It comes to adulthood I think I’ve adopted the same approach by not wanting the standard and choosing a different life altogether. This doesn’t make me a rebel or wanting to fight normality as there Is nothing normal about life it’s unique to each and every one of us.
Would I love to buy my own flat? hell yeah, I’ve always dreamed of having my own penthouse apartment with a massive winding staircase and big ceilings, however realistically having £85 grand saved up just for a deposit then adding another 10 grand for admin fees plus another 20 grand on stamp duty, then getting out a mortgage that will take me the rest of my life to pay back , It doesn’t sound so appealing … on the other hand what I’m doing now is paying someone else’s mortgage for them by paying rent every month .. It’s a quid pro quo ( I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence but never found the right time to use it, wait, hang on I’ve just googled the meaning and It doesn’t make sense ) I meant to say I’m damned If I do and damned If I don’t.
People are more and more becoming their own rather than following what society tells them is acceptable and what we should be aiming for. I am a woman, I work damn hard, I fart, I love life, I help others, I do a million and one things all at once, I don’t multitask very well ( even tho that’s what most women excel at ) I do exactly what I want ( even If everyones telling me not to ) No dream is too big and no challenge is impossible ( apart from when I tried to climb Mount Toubkal … I failed twice .. stupid mountain hates me ) I think us girls put on a front sometimes as we’re constantly made to feel we have to work harder just because we’re women, screw that I work hard because I wanna be the best, I constantly take jobs that are wayyyy to big for me on purpose so I throw myself in the deep end whist giving myself a mini heart attack but hey I give it a go! remember we live once this is our time here and if your life were written down in a book .. would you keeping reading it or after a few pages would you put it down and turn Netflix on? I want my life to be an endless series I’m currently living part 2 the sequel.
So next year Is gonna be me focusing on not worrying about what other people think and just going for it, whether it’s to do with my career, my life choices, a relationship etc.. I’m gonna make a few simple changes to how I approach things and you know what? I’m just gonna for it. This NYE I’m writing a list of things I’m gonna achieve in 2018. More of a bucket list rather than new years resolutions and I’m completing every single one of them, I mean come on I have 365 days to do so, that’s more than enough time right?