I warn you now that this is gonna be a regular feature on my blog because ( you’ll find out in a minute ) that it’s frigging hilarious.
Now I realise I can only do this while each of my four mates are trying to find ‘the one’ on tinder, they’ve all admitted they’re addicted t it so we’re all good for at least a few months.
So where do I begin? Everyone has that friend who is an absolute douche bag, the friend that is a complete idiot and you know will embarrass you on a night out or act like a football hooligan which recently came to my attention from videos I uploaded from my birthday party.
This sounds like me right?  Yes I know, but I have a friend who I now think Is far worse than me. I found this out last night by getting a call from her at 11:30pm on a Sunday night! Sorry I don’t mean to seem like a granny but don’t call me at 11:30pm on a Sunday in fact any day of the week.
The back story to my mate which you’ll get to know very well over the next few months I’m sure, anyway she is a serial dater, loves the whole what’s gonna happen on the first date excitement and I probably wouldn’t be exaggerating by saying every day she is dating a different guy well that is exaggerating just a tad, ( she’s gonna hate me for that ) anyway this time it was a second date with a guy whom she said she really liked.
They went to the steak restaurant in Fulham called Sophies, what happens next Is probably going to be the funniest thing you have heard In a long time.
Two glasses of red wine, enough bread to make your belly pop and now we’re onto the main course, the steak!
He finished his main in record breaking time so Racheal started to eat quicker as she got more and more conscious he would be waiting for her to finish.  They go back to the wine, chatting about everything from the last horrendous date he had with a girl that ended up at her mothers house then him getting kicked out because he put his hand on her shoulder and asked for a vodka ( the mum said that’s disrespectful and out he went through the door )  ha ha to work chat what you want in the future chat blah blah …All came to a sudden halt when she got awful pang of pain you get when diarrhea comes knocking down your door …
It got so bad She locked herself inside the loo for 25 minutes, she literally couldn’t make it out the door without having to rush back, she tried twice. 3 waitresses had come into check on her as her date was wondering what was going on. When you think about it being on your own at a restaurant, having already finished your main meal and you’re literally just sitting there playing on your phone trying not to look at any of the other people at tables in the eye, it would feel like ages right?
What happened here could be the cause of sheer bad luck, it could have been the sauce on the steak was too rich, the meat was too heavy, or just she should have stayed in and watched TV on a Sunday night like the rest of us.
She had the runs and couldn’t get off the toilet, Yes I find this absolutely hilarious but what she did next had me on the floor in stitches my bedroom at 11.30pm last night.

Instead of making up some ridiculous lie which is what I would’ve done, She sent her date a picture of herself on the loo thumbs up with a cheesy grin on her face and a load of tissue unrolled on her lap ( yes she sent me the picture and NO I promised I would delete it after I asked to see It ) I still can’t believe She sent this picture to her date that she was trying to impress ?! She also followed up by saying can you get me some Imodium … now what do you think happened next? Did he pay the bill? Go find some Imodium? Laugh and awkwardly pretend this wasn’t happening? Leave the restaurant in a hurry without paying? Or sent that picture to all his mates?

Well It was a mixture of the above, He sent her a reply saying exactly this ‘Ermmmm thanks! LOL didn’t expect this … TMI FYI think this is where we put an end to this maddness. Thanks for the date hope you get off the loo LOL’ He then left without putting anything towards the bill! ( which was £73 by the way ) What an absolute A HOLE!!! What an ARSE!!! TMI FYI ? are you trying to rhyme you little prick?! ( sorry for the rude word ) She didn’t text anything back just sat there on the loo, called an uber half an hour later making it home before the next offload and deleted the guys number in disgust. Oh and I’ve sent her to the doctors as she might have IBS.